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How Much Does A Divorce Cost? How to Save Money and Keep Things Civil

Divorce expenses explained plus tips to reduce costs and keep things respectful.
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Nobody dreams of getting divorced, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes things just don’t work out. At the end of the day, everybody deserves to live a fulfilling life and you should strive to find a partnership that makes you happy. But before you can move on and rebuild, you’re going to have to stick out a notoriously difficult process – divorce. Depending on who you’re dealing with, some divorces will be trickier than others, but the one thing that all divorces have in common is that they are astronomically expensive. Fortunately for you, this article will not only answer all your questions about the average price of a divorce, but walk you through the process as a whole and help you to keep costs down. We’re talking thousands of dollars here, so unless you’re a celebrity or top earner, you’ll certainly be feeling the pinch. Not only do you have to split your assets, but you’re going to have to fork out for legal fees among other things. As with all services, getting divorced can be more or less costly depending on your service provider. Some people can get by hiring only one lawyer, while others take on entire legal teams. There are so many factors when it comes to how much a divorce costs. Looking for information on a California prenuptial agreement or California divorce? In this article we will be outlining multiple pointers for saving money, as well as tips for dealing with the emotional aspect of divorce as rationally as possible. For example, some couples choose to consult a single attorney to represent them both jointly. This is an option that could end up saving you money in the long run, provided you and your ex are able to attend consultations together. Other factors that influence the pricing of a divorce include whether you are getting a contested or uncontested divorce. For those of you who don’t know what that means yet, these terms simply describe whether the divorce is opposed or unopposed. If you keep your head in the game, you can come out of this divorce stronger than you were before (and with more in your back pocket). We’ve all heard the horror stories of contested divorces that drag on for many years, causing not only financial loss but pain and heartache as well. For this reason it is of the utmost importance to prioritize coming to an agreement with your ex, for the sake of everyone involved. Obviously, when a divorce remains unsettled for years, repeat court appearances add to the overall expenses of the divorce. Divorces that go to court are significantly more costly as a result of the hike in legal fees. In addition to the aforementioned factors, disputes over alimony raise the cost of divorces globally even more than disputes involving kids. Alimony is based on divorce or family law, and constitutes a legal obligation on one partner to give financial support to their spouse either pre or post divorce or separation. Divorce is expensive no matter who you are, but what exactly is the average cost of a divorce? What is the Average Cost of a Divorce? The less emotional the divorce, the less likely it is to be costly (read on to find out how to save money and keep things civil). Of course, emotion isn’t measurable but there are a number of circumstances that are. These vary from divorce to divorce and include:

  • Alimony disputes
  • Contested problems
  • Child support / child custody
  • Settled versus trial
  • Whether or not you share property
  • Where you live

Each type of divorce comes with its own set of costs, which can be averaged according to data gathered from Nolo (an online legal encyclopedia). The following information will give you a general overview of the costs of divorces. However, if you are looking for a quote that is customized to you and your unique scenario, you will need to seek legal advice. According to the legal encyclopedia, the average cost of a divorce is $10,100 without children and $15,500 with children.Nolo’s overall average divorce cost is based on a survey that asked participants questions including:

  • Rate per hour for a divorce attorney
  • Total divorce expenses
  • Number of problems resolved
  • How long the process took

At the end of the day the average person pays $12,900 for an attorney to handle everything from beginning to end. This figure consists of an $11,300 attorney fee and combined with around $1,600 in court expenses, appraisers, tax advisors, child custody evaluators and more. Before you have a heart attack, this number is calculated from a pool of people in different income brackets, meaning that the high-end participants have skewed the results for everyone else. In other words, it isn’t necessary to hire the best lawyer in town, and 42 percent of the surveyed subjects actually paid $5,000 and below for attorney fees. Keeping Costs Down Keeping costs down largely revolves around executing a civilized divorce successfully, as with every issue that gets taken to court, more fees arise. Disagreements over alimony, child support or child custody and division of assets can all contribute to the expense of a divorce. In fact, results from the Nolo survey show that the cost of divorce doubles when a separating couple goes to trial. In other words, the average cost of $11,300 in attorney fees reaches a whopping $20,379 when going to trial on one issue. For more issues, the price rises above $23,300. With this in mind it is in your best interest to get divorced without going to court at all. However, this generally will involve amiable communications and actions which in turn require a rational mindset. But before we get into some tips for dealing with divorce logically, let’s find out how to cut down on divorce costs and keep things civil wherever possible. Want to read about how prenups can be helpful for a peaceful divorce?How To Cut Down on Divorce Costs and Keep Things Civil One of the key factors that makes divorce so exorbitant is the element of conflict. When people are mad at each other it is simply human nature to feel a wide range of emotions including spite, anger, vindictiveness, heartbreak, jealousy and more. As a result of this, miscommunication is often rife. For this reason many separating couples choose to use the legal route, but there are alternative options to litigation. First, you can settle outside of court, which you can do with the help of a mediator. Enlist the Professional Services of a Mediator Mediators act as an objective third person, and help separating couples to reach mutual agreements on all kinds of matters. You can hire a private mediator, and even enlist the services of a digital mediation company, where all communication takes place online. Of course, hiring a mediator will still cost money but at the end of the day the goal is to remain out of court. Mediators are not free but they can reduce overall costs, not only in terms of actual court fees, but lawyer fees as well. Avoid Additional Expenses and Arguments If you want to avoid an expensive divorce the best tip anyone can give you at this point is to try and keep your impulsivity in check. This means resisting the urge to respond to messages that trigger you immediately. Instead, choose to wait and compose yourself, knowing that your money and mental health are at stake. Divorce is difficult and everyone involved wants to protect their inner peace as well as finances. With communication more clear and concise, you have a higher chance of reaching an agreement which would mean substantial savings on legal fees. Avoid answering the phone if it is too difficult and email instead. If you and your ex can find a way to communicate well during the divorce process, things will be more amicable in the future. This is particularly important if you have kids. Master Your Communication with Technology One of our top tips for divorcing parents is to use a co-parenting platform and take full advantage of the joys of modern technology. Apps like OurFamilyWizard can be used to assist parents in keeping things civil which can make things easier. The way that this app works is by providing parents with tools such as:

  • Custody Schedules
  • Payment agreements
  • Shared files/forms
  • Communication records

For parents working with lawyers or mediators, it is possible to grant them access to the app so as to work together. This provides your team with the organized resources they need to access quickly in order to assist both parties.More Tips for Saving Cash with a Divorce Even if you do have to resort to litigation, there are still a number of pointers that will help you to save money in a divorce. According to Forbes, here are the top tips for saving money in a divorce:

  1. Settle outside of court
  2. Use paralegals or associates wherever possible
  3. Organize your financial records
  4. Don’t call, email instead
  5. Avoid appraisals
  6. Keep the retirement savings simple
  7. Divide your assets without professional help
  8. Allow your lawyer to do their job

How to Navigate Divorce using Your Head not Your Heart When a marriage ends it is only natural to be overwhelmed with a flood of emotions like anger, sadness and fear. At times, these emotions can arise when least expected, taking you by surprise and catching you off guard. Up Your Self Care Practices Although in time your pain will dissipate, remember to take care of yourself in the interim. Traumatic times call for extra self-care, and when you take care of your body, mind and soul you will be less likely to have an outburst of sorts. Activities like exercise and nutrition play a key role in emotional regulation, and therapy is widely recommended. Research has revealed that people who actively participate in self-care practices can manage the difficulties of divorce more successfully. Enlist the Assistance of Professionals A divorce is not a war, although it may feel like one. Attempting to work through things without the assistance of professionals can make an arduous process worse. This is because the same conflicts that led to divorce are likely to emerge during negotiations. For this reason surveys have revealed that mediation is more beneficial in terms of emotional fulfillment, spouse relationships and the needs of the kids. Although taking a seat and having a “talk” is the last thing you probably feel like doing, cooperative communication makes the process a lot more healthy. Write Down Your Thoughts to Keep Your Head in the Game With all the emotions flooding through your system, it can be hard to remember key information when needed. Journaling can be used both for self-expression and to keep track of all the points you need to discuss with your ex. By writing down everything you want to talk about, you will have a script to return to during any heated moments. Remember to also take notes during any meetings with your ex-spouse, so that you can remember all that was discussed later. Additionally, while it might seem obvious, keep the following in mind throughout the divorce process:

  • Never use children as pawns
  • Don’t act from spite
  • Do not hide money
  • Remember that you can’t have everything

There is really no need to play dirty no matter how terrible your ex was (or is). Resist the temptation to act out of spite and prioritize the feelings of everyone involved. If there were ever a time in your life to take the high road, this is it.

Julia Rodgers
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at Hello@Helloprenup.com.
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