DO NOT PUBLISH Single Parent Prenups A Few Considerations

Congrats! Your family is growing. You’re expecting (again!) Except this time, you’re adding an adult human to the mix. You’re elated. You’ve always wanted a partner to go through parenthood with and you are super excited to bring on an equal that will help raise your little ones and complete the pack you’ve worked so hard to build. Now all of the weight of the family just seems like it’s going to be centered and you can rest assured now that you have some serious adult support, and that, my friend, is incredible. You’re optimistic and excited about the future, but you’re also trying to be real with yourself and think about some logistics amongst this incredible time. How are my little ones going to react now that I’m engaged?How are my kids going to feel now that I’m adding another adult into their lives?Is this marriage going to affect their future in a financial way even though this partner is not their birth parent? For some of us, we’re not phased by the emotional aspect of this as our kids have accepted this new adult addition to the family and are overjoyed to see mom/dad so happy and get another loving parent that will be there for them for the end of time. For the rest of us, maybe this is really traumatic? Perhaps earth-shaking for our little family. What does this mean for my kids’ future? What do I need to know before entering into a contract with someone and the output for my kids? Based on the title of this article, you’re probably also considering: Are you and your partner planning to add more kids to the mix in the future?Are you and your partner going to declare taxes with dependents together? Or are taxes separate?Is your partner planning to adopt your kids? What’s going to happen to the assets from your partner in the event of divorce? Will your kids be beneficiaries to their assets? You’re smart. Incredibly smart, actually - to be thinking about these cases. Yes - marriage is between you and your fiancé, but it’s crucial to not just think about yourself and this marriage. This marriage is for all of you in this new pack. We are assuming that at this point, you’re super interested in knowing: what do I need to include in my prenup to protect my kids and their future, regardless of what happens to me and my future spouse? Here’s everything you need to know to protect your kids in the event of divorce, and your marriage.

Alimony isn’t just for you

Let’s set the foundation and benchmark for the rest of this article, and keep it super real. Marriage is ultimately, at this point for you as a single parent, a financial conversation as much as it is a romantic partnership. Yes, marriage is incredible. When it works, it’s like winning the lottery daily and reminding yourself just how lucky you are to have that emotional support. But for the purpose of this article, let’s remember that the other half of marriage is the financial support that you two will have on each to not only protect yourselves, but your super cute kids too. One of the most crucial topics that you’ll want to discuss with your partner is alimony. According to One of the most crucial topics that you’ll want to discuss with your partner is alimony. According to Investopedia.com, “alimony refers to court-ordered payments awarded to a spouse or former spouse within a separation or divorce agreement. The reason behind it is to provide financial support to the spouse who makes a lower income, or in some cases, no income at all.” Why is this so crucial? Let’s consider all of the ducklings in the pond for a second. First, your alimony is to protect you in the event that you decide to stay home and raise your kids now that you have some financial support with your new partner. There are so many factors contributing to the likelihood of this outcome - the notorious COVID pandemic, the distance learning programs that seem to have no end in sight, and the social distancing restrictions that are set forth without a realistic deadline. For some of us, we are thinking, “yeah, but, the pandemic is temporary. Our marriage isn’t.” Touché, friend, touché. However, one thing we know for sure, that is guaranteed to happen in your marriage amongst all other possible cases - you are going to change your mind and stuff is just going to happen that is out of your control. With that in mind, let’s just plan out that in the event that your financial situation changes, with or without your consent, that you’re going to protect yourself no matter the event. By making sure alimony is in place for you, you’re protecting your financial means to make sure that you will be taken care of in the event that it just doesn’t work out with your partner. On top of that, the pandemic has raised light on the unjust fact that women are disproportionately represented financially and are losing jobs at a faster rate than men, make less money on every dollar that a man does, and the median salary is much, much lower than a woman’s (even though women have more degrees and credentials than most men) - see our post on pandemic and inequality issues to dive further into this. So, if you plan to stay home with the kids, it’s twice as hard to get back into the workforce (especially for you, mom) than it was before you left, and frankly, you may not be able to make as much money when you do enter back since you’ve lost some experience and there’s less jobs available. Put your mask on before helping others. Make sure that you protect yourself financially so that you can efficiently take care of your living expenses. Most importantly, you have those cute kids. If your partner does not adopt those kids, he/she is likely not responsible for their financial wellbeing and thus you will lose that 50/50 income (or however you split your financial support amongst each other) over night. That isn’t fair to you and it’s definitely not fair to your kids. Protection is key. If you can’t rely solely on child support, rely on alimony. No, you can’t include the kids in the prenup (if let’s say your partner does adopt your kids, child support cannot be decided within a prenup, that’s decided separately according to the rules of your state) but alimony sure can. Don’t miss this crucial clause when drafting your prenup. It will save you so much time, money, and heartache and bring peace of mind for you and your kids.

Add an expiration date with a Sunset clause

It’s true - prenups CAN expire with a Sunset Clause, if they are mapped out to do so. Prenups do not expire by default. It has to be stated very clearly in a prenup while it is being drafted and signed by both parties, making known the parties intentions for the agreement to expire at a given date. A sunset clause is included in an agreement to specify a certain date, whether it be an anniversary date or otherwise, that the agreement is intended to expire. Why may an expiration date be crucial for single moms? Let’s pretend that you and your partner have been married for, let’s say just for example’s sake (and this time will be decided by both parties), 5 years. At this point, you and your partner might feel like “hey, we’ve been married for 5 years. We’ve built a great family together, and what’s mine is yours and vice versa anyways, so it makes sense that this commitment should only be honored by having the prenup expire and we now default to sharing our assets equally while married.” Point blank, if you and your partner have included a sunset clause in your agreement, and your partner decides to leave you AFTER 5 years, your divorce will work according to your state’s laws, and you will be treated in the eyes of the law like a divorcing couple, who never had a prenup at all. This will help you. Here’s an example of when: So, consider a sunset clause if you have kids, and are getting remarried. You’ll be able to feel good about your prenup knowing that it’s only temporary anyways and that you and your kids will be protected.

Primary residence clause

Your partner has decided it’s time to part ways, and now you’re freaking out because someone needs to move out of the house - and it might be you and your kids. But this is THEIR home too. There are so many memories here, and this is the place they grew up in. Now I have to leave my home because my partner owned it first? How long do you and your kids have to move out? We see it all the time. Couples get divorced and someone gets to keep the house, and someone doesn’t. If you and your partner decide that you and your kids will be the ones to leave your home in the event of divorce, do yourself a favor and add a Primary Residence Clause. A primary residence clause will clearly define who gets to stay in the house post divorce and how long the spouse has to move out that is not guaranteed to stay in the house. This is a pretty obvious one, right? Where are you and the kids going to stay and how long do you have to move out? Define it. Write it out with your partner. I know, it sounds terrible, and you want to scream even thinking about being temporarily homeless or house hunting with your kids, but it’s the responsible thing to do.

Whatever makes sense for your sanity

There are many types of clauses that can protect you and your kids. These are just the major ones that we recommend to make sure that you have something to show for your marriage in the event that it just doesn’t work out. You already know this, that’s why you’re diving this far into this article. A prenup is crucial for you and the kids and let’s hope you never have to use it, but you have it just in case you need to. There is so much to gain in this marriage you’re entering into. But with anything, what goes up, can potentially come down (or however that saying goes). Keep your eye on the prize, but make sure you have a stable route to redirect to with your kids in the event you ever need to. HelloPrenup is designed with you and all single, soon-to-not-be-single moms in mind. We provide you with all of these clauses - alimony, sunset, and primary residence - but also pet clauses, health insurance clauses, lump sum payments, etc. Learn more about our clauses here. You can also reach out to us directly at Hello@HelloPrenup.com. We created HelloPrenup for you. Let’s utilize you and your kids’ future together. XO, HP????